I've always had this constant feeling of waiting for something to happen at which point I would begin living my life. I suppose it started when I married while in college. I imagined our life would truly start when I finished college. We would be able to buy a house, a second car, afford certain things we wanted and travel more, when I finished college.
Once college was done I had to put in my time at work for my career to get a jump start. Then hubby had to finish his studies to become an ordained pastor. Once he finished that and my career was well under way, we bought our house and that second car. Then we thought: we need to fill this house! It was time to start thinking about starting a family. That's when our life would really take off and be fulfilling, once we had kids.
As a young couple we were constantly preparing for something else, something more. To this day we constantly look ahead. Whenever we see two sisters here or there, be they ages 7 and 8, or 13 and 14, we think ahead about how it will be when our girls are that age. And when we think about our church, we think about potential ministries and growth.
Living in the Midwest, it’s about January when we long for summer days, and late July when we can’t wait for the cool days of autumn to arrive. Sometimes it just seems like we're always longing for what's ahead. It sometimes seems like we are waiting for something to happen to appreciate life as being full or fulfilling.
Philippians 4:11-13 says: Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned , in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content. I know both how to be abased and I know how to abound; everywhere and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me.
We are encouraged to balance our lives, living in the moment and appreciating each and every day, whatever that currently may be, but continuously looking forward, hoping for something better. It can be difficult, when you're looking ahead to that something better, to be content with what you have today. V13 tells us, I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me, implying that we need Christ to strengthen us if we are going to be able to maintain this balance.
We shouldn't be satifisfied with our current situation, we should continue to hope to attain something better - whether that be spiritually, in our relationships, with our family or in our careers - it is good to strive to be better in all things. But in the process we must remember that today is just as valuable as tomorrow can be.
I look forward to the day when my girls can dress themselves, say goodbye to diapers and bottles, and are a little more independent. But oh how I am content today, to carry my little baby, snuggle my girls and attend to their every need. I look forward to the day when we can take them to soccer games or music lessons, but I am also happy to teach my baby how to crawl and my toddler her colors and shapes.
Every moment is precious, and although you may have great goals and visions of the future, don't forget to appreciate today. You can never get back your todays.
There's a poem that goes:
It was spring, but it was summer I wanted;
the warm days and the great outdoors.
It was summer but it was fall I wanted;
the colorful leaves and the cool dry air.
It was fall but it was winter I wanted;
the beautiful snow and the joy of the holiday season.
It was now winter but it was spring I wanted;
the warmth and the blossoming of nature.
I was a child but it was adulthood I wanted;
the freedom and the respect.
I was twenty but it was thirty I wanted;
to be mature and sophisticated.
I was middle aged but it was twenty I wanted;
the youth and the free spirit.
I was retired but it was middle-age that I wanted;
the presence of mind without limitations.
My life was over, but I never got what I wanted.
(Again not sure on author.. Sorry!)