Wednesday, December 22, 2004

Hi God its me, can I see my time budget?

As a former public accountant, time budgets were key. Knowing how much time I had budgeted for each project on my desk helped me figure out how I would organize each day and allocate my time.

Wouldn't it be great if we knew our time budget for life? My perception of time and life are a bit skewed. My mother died of cancer when she was 42. So I have this horrible feeling that time is quickly running out on me. When your perception tells you that 42 is the end, each year you get a little bit closer to it, you feel like you have to pack in every experience, activity, trip, job, and reach every goal, maturity, enlightenment...etc.etc. before then.

As if the world isn't rushed enough, this extra sense of urgency can leave you trying so hard to experience it all before it's too late, that you realize you're so overworked, overscheduled and overloaded that you haven't really enjoyed any of it because you're so worried about it taking too much time that you won't have a chance to experience the next thing - phew, that was a mouthful.

So I find I constantly have to remind myself, turning to Ecclesiastes, that there is a time and season for every work and I don't need to do it all today. Yes, there is much I am capable of, but God doesn't want me to overextend myself. He'd rather have me concentrate on him - my devotions. He'd rather have me care for the little one's he's entrusted to me - to teach them to concentrate on Him.

And in time, I can also do all those other things that I know I'm capable of, that others know I'm capable of and want me to do. But right now, I crave simplicity and to increase the foundation of my house so that my children will grow strong and firm in God's love and in their knowledge of Him. That is the season I'm in right now. That is the season I need to work in right now. That is the season I'd like to enjoy before it has passed me by and I've lost the opportunity to savor this season.

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