Monday, February 27, 2012
Life can sometimes turn upside down on us. Sickness, hurt, disappointment, they can shatter our perception of life, our trust in others, and our vision of God and his intentions for us.
What we once could count on is no more. What we once took for fact, is no longer true. We no longer recognize anyone or anything around us, and soon we are not even familiar to ourselves.
He allows us to be broken, so that he can raise us up stronger, better.
I've just walked that valley. Everything I thought I was, or thought I should do was crushed. Who I was or what I should do was like dust in my hands.
A true "Paul on the road to Damascus" experience, I thought I had it together. I thought I knew the path that was right.
Then God. Then God.
Then God intercepted and revealed his glorious grace to me. I was rocked to my very core. As if the very earth shook beneath me it took me by surprise and unraveled me.
"....and suddenly a light from heaven flashed around him (Paul) And falling to the ground he heard a voice..." (Acts 9:3-4)
I was right where he wanted me. He has been about the work of taking the unraveled pieces of me and entwining them in the knowledge of Him.
In this time I have been awestruck. I have had no voice. I could speak, but I had nothing to say, nothing to share, no where to start.
My life has been one of worship, wonderful public worship. But when he shook me, everything fell inward, my worship collapsed into tears, beautiful cleansing tears, but tears I could not explain. I have had no voice, except in the moments when I cry out to Him.
So we cry out Your name El Shaddai,
God of grace Lord most high,
We rely on Your grace Adonai,
crowned in praise Lord most high,
In my silence I have acquired new knowledge of the beauty of his grace and mercy, of His never-ending love and forgiveness, of His full and complete presence.
Submerged in the process of knowing Him, He changed my song.
So new, so unfamiliar, yet I grow in confidence each day to use my voice again, and I only desire to speak of His incredible, unfailing grace.
"...the Lord Jesus who appeared to you on the road by which you came has sent me so that you may regain your sight and be filled with the Holy Spirit. And immediately something like scales fell from his eyes, and he regained his sight." Acts 9:17-18