The art of being still

"Do not be afraid. stand firm

and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today.

The Lord will fight for you;

you need only to be still." Exodus 14:13-14

My first instinct is to fight, struggle, exert some, any kind of effort. But God asks us to be still. That's different from sitting back and relaxing or taking a break. When I read" be still" I tend to think "rest". But the act of being still is not so simple.

Have you ever tried to be still? Consider yoga poses for a moment. There are some that seem to be so simple, until you actually try them. Then you become aware of how much effort and determination each pose demands. Every muscle works hard against the force of gravity. You are suddenly and excruciatingly aware that unidentified muscles in your body are prone to spontaneous flinching. Your body trembles from the sheer effort and every muscle screams for release.

Source

Be still.

It takes great spiritual muscle to be still at the beginning of each new year. My soul stirs and my mind races.  Analyzing and reflecting on the past year I want to jump into action in the new. I'm anxious to tackle new ventures and projects.  I'm eager to start a new effort to self improve in some area of my life, family, ministry, or finances.  And yet, I know that is precisely when I need to stop, enter into a time of prayer and fasting, turn to God and ask for His direction for the year.

Be still.

He's calling me to a higher plan. Taming my stubborn, directionless will and strengthening every inch of my soul. He asks me to focus and turn inward, and allow Him to do the needed adjustments. If I would plant myself deep and stretch myself, He promises to fortify me and strengthen all that is weakness in me.

Be still, He says, don't move until the noise dissolves, and the world melts away. Breathe deep, clear your life and mind of all the clutter and focus only on Me. And finally firm and steady, His voice is clear and comforting, peace and confidence.

Be still my soul! Be still heart! He is working out your rescue! He is drawing you near. He is fortifying you whole: body, mind and soul.

My Provider. My Protector. My Guide. He goes out before me. He stands guard behind me.

Be still my soul! Listen. He beckons, "Come, talk with me" and my heart replies, "Lord, here I am." (Ps 27:8)

Merry Christmas

 

 

Phillipians 2: 6-11

Who, being in very nature God,
did not consider equality with God

something to be used to his own advantage;
rather, he made himself nothing
by taking the very nature of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
by becoming obedient to death—
even death on a cross!

Therefore God exalted him to the highest place
and gave him the name that is above every name,
that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
and every tongue acknowledge that Jesus Christ is Lord,
to the glory of God the Father.

 

 

May you be blessed with Hope and Peace as we stop

to celebrate the Birth of Jesus this Christmas.

A WONDERful time of the year

One of my favorite authors, Margaret Feinberg [www.margaretfeinberg.com], has a new book and 7-session Bible Study called Wonderstruck: Awaken to the Nearness of God  (releasing Christmas Day)—a personal invitation for you to toss back the covers, climb out of bed, and drink in the fullness of life. Wonderstruck will help you:

·         Recognize the presence of God in the midst of your routine
·         Unearth extraordinary moments on ordinary days
·         Develop a renewed passion for God
·         Identify what’s holding you back in prayer
·         Discover joy in knowing you’re wildly loved

To learn more, watch the Wonderstruck Video, here.                    

"Peel back the curtain. Reveal your holiness. Transform us forever."

God works in Wonder.  It's His modus operandi.  His ways and His hand in our lives will leave us awestruck, if we take the a moment to notice.  

Source

I most closely experience the wonder of God whenever I have the opportunity to hold a baby fresh from heaven.  I am content to just gaze on the tiny face, listen to each new breath, and take in the distinct sweet smell of a newborn baby.   

Like a moth to a flame we can’t help but gather at the endearing coo of a baby to ooh and ahh over the tiny creation!

When He sent us the gift of salvation, I think He caught us all off guard by sending His son in the form of a precious baby boy.  I don't know any of us would have anticipated that he would reveal himself so tenderly.

So fragile. 
So small. 
So intimate.
So holy.

Who could resist?  Did this King really just come to us so helpless and vulnerable?  Did the great I AM truly humble Himself so exceptionally? Did He really just give us the power of life in a bundle so tiny we could literally hold it in our hands? 

We were drawn in.

So great is His love for us, He trusts us to our own free will to crush or cherish this gift.  He is literally ours, unveiled and laid bare to accept or reject.  This precious gift of unabashed love breaks past the barrier of our sin and resulting distrust, to the depth of our hearts where truth is re-awakened. 

We are transformed. 
All is made new. 
We can start again. 
No condemnation.
Just love. 

For if He would humble himself and enter into our humanity, then we must be worth more than we have let ourselves imagine.  He believes in us.

We drop our defenses and He sets us free.  The debt is paid.   Now without fear or anxiety, we can emerge from our shame, bitterness and resentment to the fresh air of forgiveness. 

Oh how he loves us!  Oh how we love Him in return!

Christmas is the season for wonder.  It's why we look forward to it each year.  I wouldn't mind a little more wonder every day of the year. Start your journey of wonder with this new book. 

Follow Margaret’s inspirational posts on Twitter,  Facebook , or her blog. You can learn more about this great book by visiting www.margaretfeinberg.com/wonderstruck where she’s offering some crazy promos right now with up to $300 of free stuff.  I ordered my own copy for only $7.57 on Amazon!

Forgotten gift

Busy, busy, busy is what we mumble and grumble at this time of the year.  Ask anyone how they are doing and they'll tell you they are over-extended, over- scheduled and over-worked.  It's as if it would be shameful to admit anything less. 

We are sufficiently busy!

Most of those I talk to are geniunely stressed, tired and near the point of burn out.  In fact, I include myself in that count!  More times than not I find myself complaining about the perpetual demands of the holiday season.

What fuels our busy-ness anyway? 

Could what I perceive to be self-sacrifice really be self-serving, self-indulgence?

If the first words from my mouth are "listen to what I've done, what I've sacrificed, how I suffer" am I kind of showing up at the greatest birthday party of the year, and stealing all the thunder? Seeking gifts of  sympathy, apathy, or praise for myself?

Protesting about now?

Self-indulgence?! 
Everything I do is for somone else!
I run.
I cook.
I bake.
I shop.
I decorate for days and days.
I'm exhausted!

Hmm.  See the trend?

Give God the glory.

The holiday, or holy days, season. The reason for the season: Jesus, right? 

So often we fail to actually take time out to reflect on the source of this season. Do we honestly take the days of advent to savor the beauty and wonder of the big event?

If you do, I commend you!  Lead the way!  If not, it's time for a serious self-check.

The wonder of this season lies in the quiet moments.  The first snowfall, morning devotions next to a warm fire, cuddling with sleepy eyed pajama clad children enthralled with the wonders of Luke 2, kneeling at the altar with the one's you love on Christmas eve. 

Stop and consider the miracle of a God who loved you so much that he descended from His throne, so that today instead of lives of worries, troubles, and hectic anxiety we could live our lives filled with hope, love, joy, peace and rest.

Mal 3:16: 

Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse

...test me,

and I will pour out for you a blessing

until it overflows.

The magi brought Christ gifts upon His arrival.  What gift are you preparing for the Savior this advent?  What are you willing to sacrifice for Him?  An act of kindness or service?  Are you willing to commit yourself to His work?  Is there something in your life that you need to lay at His feet?

"Small resolutions,

over time,

can lead to huge revolutions

affecting not only our lives,

but also the lives of those around us."

-Dr. Tim Gray

Resolutions are usually reserved for the New Year, but why not make a resolution this Christmas season.  Let's look inward and consider what tiny offerings we can bring before Christ this Christmas.

Don't forget to add Christ to your gift list this year.

In Heavenly Peace

My heart has been begging my mind to slow down and focus on the intent of this Christmas season:  Advent, a time of reflection, introspection, quiet and rest.

But it wasn't until Friday, that all the little things that seemed so urgent, were abruptly placed into perspective. 

Shop for one more holiday trinket, or pause for a mommy-daughter lunch?  Get on top of my year-end reporting, or actually get home in time for dinner with the family? Holiday party or quiet time with my 4 year old boy who is feeling under the weather?

Suddenly these questions seem ridiculous.

There is silence as we mourn with the Newtown families and community.  We are bound to them in prayer as we empathize with their unfathomable loss. We are reminded of how fragile life is and how important it is to embrace every second of it with our loved ones. 

And we wonder if "safe" exists for any of us anymore.

Micah 5:4  He will stand and shepherd his flock...and they shall live securely.

Because of His birth, life, death and resurrection, we can live secure in the knowledge that He waits for us.  He is always close.   He is desperate for us to invite Him in.  Regardless of what we are living through right now, there is comfort and security in his deep and fierce love for us.

Our Shepherd feels our anguish. He knows the pain of losing a child to a terrible death at the hand of sin.  He humbled himself and lived it first hand, so that we could receive the promise of His restoration, and live in the confidence of life everlasting without sin and without pain. 

In this season of faith and family and friends, this tragedy is all the more cruel.  But because He came, we have the promise and assurance of a time and place where we can live, and love, and forgive.

As we focus on the birth of the Redeemer, hold on to the promise.  Be consoled.  Be assured.  Be at peace. 

I shall dwell secure.
He shall be my peace.


Oh, Lord Jesus, you entered the dark world of your day. Won’t you enter ours? We are weary of bloodshed. We, like the wise men, are looking for a star. We, like the shepherds, are kneeling at a manger.

This Christmas, we ask you, heal us, help us, be born anew in us.

Hopefully,
Your Children
source
 

Nonversations

I blame fear and anxiety, my usual scapegoats, for the bitter fountain of words that raced across my mind.  Sitting in the the cold, sterile examination room of the ER, the waiting unsettled me.  Disappointed again by the doctor's inability to pinpoint the cause of my pain that afternoon, I turned to God in frustration.

I'm not sure what combination of words flowed that afternoon.  I couldn't tell you what was said or how long this went on.  I can tell you what I didn't do.  I never paused long enough to listen.  I never stopped to consider who it was I was addressing.

Margaret Feinberg calls this "nonversation" in her new book Wonderstruck: Awaken to the Nearness of God, and I am guilty of it.

In the privilege I have of speaking with God as my most intimate friend, I forget that He is the most High God.  Where He graciously cares for the minutiae of life, I mistakenly assume He needs me to regurgitate partially processed, emotional, thoughtless prayers. As if such an offensive offering would move Him.

She presents a question:  How often have I rattled on with God and said nothing at all? It reminded me of another question, out of the Catechism,  "when we pray do we speak from the height of our pride and will, or out of the depths of a humble and contrite heart"?

The point being, are we having one sided conversations with God?  Are we so busy thinking up fancy phrases, complicated formulas, or so self absorbed that we are just plain nonsensical in what ends up being a string of soap box moments, rather than an intimate exchange?

Sometimes God lets me wander into darkness so that he can get my attention.  When there are no answers, when I feel lost and helpless, that is when I finally slow down, reach out and stop to listen.

When I stop prattling on about being afraid, how it's unfair, why I don't deserve any of this,   exhausted and spent, I become a child again sitting in the lap of her heavenly father.  In the sure comfort of his embrace, I am ready and willing to hear his will for my life and see the lessons he has for me. 

As I breathe in His presence, and drink in His Word, I am awakened to the fact that I have a Father that knows my name. He shows me how in every moment, at every turn, He is there.  Then he reveals how all the little pieces of my life, especially the ones that didn't make sense, were all working for my good. 

I stand amazed at His mercy, faithfulness, and love orchestrating every movement in the fugue of my life. Overwhelmed, I relent. 

Less of me, more of you God.

So often, this simple statement of humility, this desperate hungry petition becomes the damn to the plethora of words that want to burst out.

Less of me, more of you God.

That's when I experience His presence so tangibly, so beautifully that I would be happy not to say another word, if I could dwell in that place all the days of my life.


******

It was such a privilege to get to read a preview of this new book releasing in December and I cannot wait to add this book to my collection.  As always, Margaret takes us on a journey of self-analysis rich with masterfully painted pictures for her reader's minds.  Pre-order yours today!


 

Keep your heart slow

"Don't react. Instead respond out of wisdom, grace and love."  -M. Feinberg

Call it the mama-bear in me, but I certainly am one to react.  Over the years, I have learned to keep my initial rolling reactions beneath the surface.  Mostly.  Ok, perhaps only sometimes.

But I certainly know that those reactions usually come from an emotional place.  And usually that place is a tangled web of incoherent sporatic experiences, memories or unresolved thoughts.  My brain's effort to problem solve, to self preserve  or make sense out of the senseless.

In my humanity, I am apt to get it wrong.

More often than not, my secondary reaction is much more reasonable, rational, maybe even wise.

I am loving the new song by Mumford in Sons.  To me it epitomizes the exact process my mind goes through. The racing tempo of the chorus representing the frantic, hurried pace at which I tend to respond.  The verses the slow, wise revelations.

If I can hold back the surge, my fleshly impulse to react, then my mind can step out of its mental race and my thoughts can reduce their pace.  No longer breathlessly sprinting to a destination, I am free to stroll through garden's of wisdom, grace and love.

In God's garden of prayer, scripture and wise counsel, the answers are never wrong.  The answers are gifts of peace and reassurance.

That's not to say that the pressure behind the damn grows quiet.  The surge still threatens to erupt.  Even when I've resolved that I need to wait.  In the waiting there are moments when your mind's voice becomes a little frantic. Fearful.  The pressure from the surge mounts.

I will wait.  I WILL wait.

Ah the waiting is never a passive process, usually requiring monumental efforts of strength and will to pass through.

When in fear or anxiety your heart is pounding so hard that it deafens you.  Stop. Don't react. Breath.  And as your heart slows, and the world quiets down, that is where you'll hear God's voice rise up in answer to your situation.

Keep your hearts slow my friends.




So I'll be bold
As well as strong
And use my head alongside my heart
So tame my flesh
And fix my eyes
That tethered mind free from the lies

But I'll kneel down
Wait for now
I'll kneel down
Know my ground

Raise my hands
Paint my spirit gold
And bow my head
Keep my heart slow

The day after

Source

It's the day after.  Disappointment hangs heavy in the quiet recesses of the city today.  Somber faces acknowledge me, hope a fading ember in their eyes.  A day of mourning not necessarily for the events of the previous night, but of the state in which we find ourselves.

We are disheartened by the widespread disintegration in shared values and beliefs.  We are alarmed. Are we truly now the minority?

Like the tale of the frog in boiling water we have been obliviously content in the busyness of our daily lives.  We had not realized that the temperature in our culture has changed.  We have been complacent.

My intent here is not to talk politics, point fingers or cast blame.

I do choose to point the magnifying glass inward, and to the church standing with me on the other side of this great moral divide.

 My question is quite simple:  Are we, the church, failing?

If Jesus is the light of the world, and we as His disciples, imitators of Christ, commissioned to be salt and light to the world, are not shedding that same eye opening, awe inspiring light, then.... are we, the church, failing?

For if there is darkness in the world today, in the form of misunderstanding, ignorance or plain contradiction.  And darkness is simply a lack of God and His life giving light, then.......... are we, the church, failing?

Christ is the Word made flesh that dwelt among us.  As His discliples, can we say the same? Have we truly taken on the image and likeness of Christ?  Are we the walking, talking Word of God?

My first response is to react.  I am, I'm sure, a direct descendant of Martha.  My instinct is to be "anxious and troubled about many things".  In fact I can support my tendency to worry with additional scripture.  I mean, doesn't James also tell us that we should "be doers of the word, and not hearers only"?!

Determination wells up in a surge of adrenaline and self-righteousness.  This natural introvert becomes convinced that I must use all of my natural will and strength to push back this tide that is changing the face of our beloved nation, threatening to undue, erase, even eradicate all that our founding fathers fought for so desperately.

And yet the word tells me that in Martha's most anxious moment, Jesus told her that only one thing was needful.  We must choose the "good portion, and it will not be taken away."

More than ever, we Christians have to lay aside our petty differences, distractions and divisions, and be true disciples, obedient and attentive to the word of God, sitting at the feet of our Father.

That is not to say we should be passive.  Salt and light are active.  But it is at His feet where we must start. 

It is at His feet we are equipped to exalt Christ and evangelize the world.  That is the place where we take on the mind of Christ.  At His feet is where His Word permeates our minds, hearts and lives so that He can truly become flesh again and again through each of us.

So in the days after this, let the mourning stop.  Let us return to the beginning.  Rest at the feet of the master, choose the good portion, so that this time, our light shines a little brighter, and the world can see more of Him and less of us.

Source


 

This is what the Lord says:

“Cursed is the one who trusts in man,

who draws strength from mere flesh

and whose heart turns away from the Lord.

That person will be like a bush in the wastelands;

they will not see prosperity when it comes.

They will dwell in the parched places of the desert,

in a salt land where no one lives.

But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord“,

whose confidence is in him.

They will be like a tree planted by the water

that sends out its roots by the stream.

It does not fear when heat comes;

its leaves are always green.

It has no worries in a year of drought

and never fails to bear fruit.”

Jeremiah 17:5-8

Holy Thursday

This is it.  We are on the eve of THE weekend.  
It's HUGE.

In the span of three days we will journey across the spectrum of reason and emotion.

Great sorrow and remorse,
denial and repentance,
reflection and contemplation,
great thanksgiving and celebration.

My heart is humbled and contrite.
I am overwhelmed.
So grateful.  So thankful.
Everything He did
was for me
and for you.

He'd do it again.
Not because I deserved it. 
Not because I am worthy.
Just pure unconditional love,
mercy, grace, sacrifice and power.

He truly is an awesome God.

I thank you, Lord Jesus, for becoming a human being
so I do not have to pretend or try to be God.
I thank you, Lord Jesus, for becoming finite and limited
so I do not have to pretend that I am infinite and limitless.
I thank you, crucified God, for becoming mortal
so I do not have to try to make myself immortal.
I thank you, Lord Jesus, for becoming inferior
so I do not have to pretend that I am superior to anyone.
I thank you for being crucified outside the walls,
for being expelled and excluded like the sinners and outcasts,
so you can meet me where I feel that I am,
always outside the walls of worthiness.

- Fr. Richard Rohr

In the Lean

photo source: http://compellingparade.com/

I use to think leaning was just another way of saying you were skewed, damaged, or impaired.  Leaning only happened if you couldn't handle life on your own.  Like the leaning tower of Pisa, if you were constantly leaning there must have been some fundamental problem in your foundation, a weakness or design flaw.

Not true.

Leaning defined is to have a natural inclination or tendency toward someone or something. Leaning on friends and family, leaning on wise counsel, leaning into the presence of God and His Word.   I've realized that leaning doesn't mean I'm weak.  Leaning makes me stronger. 

When I lean I don't bear the burden of trying to hold myself upright against the winds of daily life.  Work, family, exercise, church, relationships - they all come at me full force each day.  I can struggle against the weight of them all, and in the process lose all the joy that these people and activities bless me with.  Or I can lean back and recline into Him who sustains me. 

All these things I can support, when He bears the weight of it all.

I love living in the lean.   In the lean I can press in, listen to his voice and rest in his presence.

All that I do is possible, only because I live in the lean.

Waiting

Psalm 40  I waited patiently for the Lord....

In our culture waiting is despised.  We are certainly a society of little patience.  From tapping our foot at the microwave, to urging our computers to download information faster and buying the latest model of any given gadget because of its promised increased speed and capacity.

We see waiting as a moment of non-productivity in our fast paced self induced scurry lives.  We consider waiting to be something to endure, escape or overcome.

'Waited patiently' in Psalm 40 comes from the Hebrew word qwh which can also be translated as "expect" a goal oriented word. And translated as such sheds a more appealing light on the phrase:  I expected in anticipation for the Lord.

God wouldn't have us in a season of waiting without a purpose.  He is the grand orchestrator of life!  I gather He is capable of making the world move seamlessly without pause or hesitation.  So why do we experience pauses?  What is the purpose of waiting?

A pause in music or theatre is usually for effect.  It precedes a crescendo, a great revelation or some other event the author wants us to appreciate.  Should we experience one, I would have to conclude that there is something awesome about to be birthed. 

Like a lone firework that ascends into a clear summer's night sky, it seems to climb in slow motion.  You try to keep it in sight, but in a blink you lose track of it.  Or perhaps you are even distracted by the surrounding glorious explosions of light. 

Then suddenly you are surprised and awestruck by the sudden beauty that blossoms across the sky, its echo shaking the ground, and in that moment you remember...that's right, I was waiting, expecting, anticipating.....and it was worth it.

Embrace your waiting, expect in anticipation from the Lord, and brace yourself.  He has something great in the works.

I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in His word I put my hope.  Psalm 130

Weekend Echoes

Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it. — Ferris Bueller

Because people are writing or sharing clever, interesting, inspiring images and words every day, here are a few echoes from this week that have influenced me.   This week's echo?  Share your life story.

• As seen on a facebook share:

  - Source Unknown

• This week marked the start of the Just One Conference !  There are amazing leadership women speaking such as Kay Warren and Jenni Catron.  One of my favorite points of reflection came from Heather Palacios, Executive Pastor’s Wife at Church by the Glades:  There is incredible power in your own personal story if you are willing to transparently share it.  Will embarrassment stop me or will faith propel me? 

I absolutely ask myself that question each time I sit down and write.  There are times that I read my blog and think - do I really want to hit that publish button?  Now, do I tell my friends to read this blog???  Hmmm..

There's still time to jump on board.  The Just One Conference is going on over the next three weeks.

• Great post for reflection from Carlos Whittaker. Be Brave and Stand, though technically not from this week, was new to me this week. Absolutely love his style of laying out some simple, but deep, in your face, kick you in the pants, posts.    Favorite line:  "Resolve doesn’t come from an easy life."  As I read this blog, I wanted to continue - be brave, stand, then share your story!  What so many people cloak as  hardship and failure and carry as shame, is really a story of resolve, survival and inspiration!  We all want to know we are not alone, and hearing your stories of difficult times, or moments when you had to start all over again, encourage all of us - we too can get through and overcome!

• Steven Chaparro writes about The Power of Story.  Favorite line: "He has prepared words, chapters, and pictures for your future story that will cause you to shake your head in awe. They will read of faith, hope, and love. "  So true!  Your life is a great novel!  If you read back over your life like a book - think about all the small but amazing pieces that make up your story.  Foreshadows of things to come.  The gradual build to each climax.  Beautiful.

Change and Enjoy

Is there anything more exciting than change? Nervousness and anxiety, butterflies and goosebumps turned good. The sun is brighter today, the flowers more gorgeous.

The beginning is where you start. The point at which you said go, commence, move, step! There is no right way or wrong way. As much as this slave to checklists and methods would like a manual or recipe for success, there really is none - and strangely that's freeing. Their is no burden to sling on and carry. There are no measures, but the ones I chose to set on myself. It is what it is.

Each time, each place, each purpose, each person is completely and wonderfully different from the other. That's the scary part. That's the best part.

That's what I'm counting on.

No more delays. No more count downs. Just jump in.


And dance :)

Somethin from Nothin

Give God your all. …Give him those things that you judge as not good enough. Hand over those areas of your life that appear to be too broken to be used. Let Him sift and sort things through. You'll be amazed at what the Master Creator can make… ~ Katherine Walden

Heard this quote on my drive to work today, it completely sums up the last few months for me.

From health concerns, economic difficulties, church admin worries and not to mention working at a non profit that depends on the generosity of its donors, who are struggling themselves....well things just seem broken.

But how great is God that he steps in when we need him most. Like a father watching his baby taking wobbly steps, trying to figure out how to manage, right when he's about to topple over - there HE is. He's there, always there, but yet we're surprised each time.

There's a lot to be sifted and sorted these days....turn it over to God, let's see what he makes of it.

7 Keys to Starting a Movement

You have to go check out 7 Keys to Starting a Movement at Ragamuffinsoul.com (warning - if small kids are around, watch it on mute).

I found this highly amusing, but also inspiring!

We are about to embark on a new chapter in our ministry. That is so refreshing to say OUR MINISTRY, because for a long time we were in this spiral of what we should do based on what the people around us wanted (basically good christian syndrome) vs. what God had been molding and fashioning us to do.

God has been preparing us for a shift, and let me tell you it hasn't been without its frustrations and pressures, but we can see the new day - the sun shining on our faces again, and it's beautiful.
But like anything new and unknown... well there is uncertainty, and well who is ever comfortable with that. That's the best thing though, it doesn't matter. We are so EXCITED. It's great.

So pray for us, we're going to get up and dance. Start the music! Musica, musica por favor!

You're old

We were watching Pride and Prejudice the other night, my absolute fav movie. And while enjoying one of the dancing scenes, my 6 year old turned to me and said, "Is that how they use to dance a long time ago, like in the 70's or 80's?"

!

I just about spit out my diet coke. How hilarious is that?

A few weeks ago I turned 34 (gulp!), which isn't THAT old I know. But considering the health issues I've had recently and that no man zone I seem to hit after going through challenges to my system, well it is forefront on my mind.

I so did not appreciate my 20's, but who does really, when your body is neither in that growing phase and not yet crested that hill to full on aging. But then your 30's are definitely a time of new confidences, security and overall sense of well-being.

So doesn't it seem uncertainly cruel that its also when we start facing grey hairs, dry skin, hormonal imbalances, loss of disposable organs, irregular test results, and the constant teetering that goes on over our kids safety and development?

Wow - okay maybe it's just me and I just needed to vent. But as my crowd creeps further into its mid-thirties, it just seems like the theme.

So its likely just obvious that I'm in that desert where I'm not down and out in my sickness anymore, but I'm not completely well even though I FEEL like I am, and so all the aftershock health issues are still ongoing and haven't quite turned around. And I am NOT dealing with it all very well. Let's just say that my imagination is overactive. Yes people, I'm an anxious worrier - and I know, I know - need to go back to my verses on not worrying.

But if you read my blog you know I never have claimed patience to be a virtue. However, apparently, God really thinks its important for me to take it on.

Hello God

The last few months have been a struggle. I've had some strange health issues and medical tests that were telling some threatening stories. It's challenging to do daily life, when doubt is whispering in your ear morning noon and night.

Last week I got a tune up aka triple surgery, that layed me down. God bless my hubby who has taken on this household and me with the strength of a 100 soldiers and angels. He's been my lifeline, my spiritual mentor, my friend and dear dear hubby through a time that I chose to keep to myself.

It was my trial, it was ours and if God wanted to deal with us through this - then he was going to and we would take it on - despite the faucet that had suddenly turned on inside me and would NOT stop. I am not one to shed a tear - loved ones have come and gone, we've suffered losses and sickness - and tears are just not how I deal, but WHOA who turned on the water works during this one. I can't stop them. I literally cry everywhere - in the car, in the yard, at a service, when I'm happy, when I'm said, when I'm tired...in all things I am CRYING!

But I know God has been calling me. I KNOW IT, and I've been pretending I couldn't hear. There I said it. I'm sorry. So sorry.

But I finally looked up. I acknowledged it. That's all he wanted..I think. He's getting us ready for a shift. Bring it. Bring it.

I think that's why Isaiah is speaking to me lately. With all the world spinning every which way, Isaiah is grounding me. Like today...one of the lovely blog ladies I read posted this one: but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

LOVING IT.

And this one:

The Spirit of the Lord God is upon Me [Jesus]…to heal the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and opening of the prison to those who are bound…to comfort all who mourn and provide for those who grieve...…to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of His splendor.” (Isaiah 61:1-3)

Powerful.

God is Good....all the time

This is the current quote of a childhood friend of mine. He has it at the end of each email, he tosses it out on facebook every so often. It is his default. It's contagious, and blesses more people than he knows.

Daily I talk to people who have lost their jobs. Friends, acquaintances, family. It's tough when this happens to one person you know and you find yourself trying to encourage, be positive and sympathetic. But multiply it, and daily...well, I'm sure there are lots of you out there who are experiencing this and it just plain hard.

Take today alone - two people I know. One really worries me because her husband has been out of work for a few months now, they have little bitty ones - 4 to be exact, and they were also helping to support his mom. Now what?

The second, well her hubby is at a company that's struggling, and hers was the "steady" job, that she REALLY really enjoyed by the way.

You can't help but read an article or watch the news to hear one heart breaking story after another. Stories of great difficulty and need.

God have mercy. Christ HAVE mercy!

But in the ashes that is the hurt, the difficulty the uncertainty, there is also resilience. A light that still burns in the hearts of those that trust that God will get them through this all....that the end of these tough times will come and will be better than when it all began - Ecc 7:8.

They leave me in awe. They shame and humble me completely. Each day through their adversity, their hope and strength they scream to us all: God is Good, all the time, ALL THE TIME.

Amen. amen...

Food for thought

you have to read this post - save the world

well said

ministry couple saying amen here

hubby and I work to keep this balance as well

its the ministry God permanently placed at the top of the listwhen he made us parents

stewards of most precious talents

if we don't get it right - what does the rest matter?

Home sweet home

I am blogging to you tonight via my lovely pink palm.

We're heading back to the hometown to visit family & friends. Cruisin' down the I94, listening to some smooth Salvador, kiddies are all snoozing in the back, with full tummies. It's all good.

The past week or so has been all about connecting with old friends.
And when I say old, well we're all older, but two people I reconnected with I've known literally since I was a babe.

There is nothing more invigorating and refreshing as the mental throwback that goes on when you reconnect with the people who were there when IT all began.

All that hope, excitement and exuberance all come flooding back with the nostalgia of going back to your roots..

Can you tell I'm excited and happy to be heading out for a visit to the land of my youth? :)