Monday, January 03, 2005

Miss Baby..oh how you're growing..

Have you ever experienced that sensation when looking at someone you know very well, they suddenly seem like a stranger? Where you find yourself thinking - who is this person?

That's how I felt this weekend for a minute while watching Miss Baby.

I spent more than 10 months home with Miss Baby, and after only 3 days away from her, I felt like I knew nothing about her anymore. That's a bit drastic, I know. But I do feel like, after spending day after day with her - truly, I'm sure I never spent more than a few hours apart from her in that entire period - that now I have no clue about what went on during her day.

What did she learn? What new cute thing did she do? What new sounds did she make?

Tonight I realized she's becoming quite adept at pulling herself up, and she's starting to move along furniture. And although I was there when she first stood up, and even was able to snap a picture of that first, I am still amazed by it and wondered if I had missed something.

When I was home with her I could watch her every move, savor every new accomplishment - and now there's just less time in the day to do that. There are now chunks of time in her life that I'm just not with her. And that's an adjustment.

This weekend I just watched her - and now when I look into her eyes, I wonder what she's thinking. I can imagine the wheels turning in that little head of hers. No longer does she gaze up at me with innocent doe eyes, absorbing every little detail. She's thinking out things on her own now. She's developing preferences. She's developing character. She now has her own personality.

And I realize, she's not different to me now because I'm not with her all day anymore, although she now has the daily influence of grandma and grandpa shaping her life, but it's because she's growing up into a little person. She's growing and learning so very fast, I can hardly keep up with her. It's as if she's changing each moment, and if I blink or turn away for just a minute, when I look back, she's suddenly different. Her individuality is emerging, growing stronger every day, and she's just simply no longer completely dependent on me.

It makes me proud, and a little sad at the same time. Nostalgia for the days when my sweet little baby was content to snuggle in a little bundle in my arms, as my strong girl wrestles out of my arms to go exploring....

Oh Miss Baby! Why must you grow up so quickly?

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