Tuesday, February 01, 2005

Ok you have my attention

When it comes to signs and stuff...well, how should I put it, I'm kind of a knucklehead.

In high school I was socially inept. I didn't get the boy-girl games that people played. That either made me very ignorant, or just genuine. It's a toss up really. But I think my point is, I didn't catch on to the clues very well. I can't tell you how many times I was informed that someone "liked" me, or had a thing for me - and I just didn't catch on to the signals.

I was always surprised and shocked, and if I had only had a better radar - I could have saved us all a lot of embarrassment, awkwardness, clumsy rejection - and could have kept many boys as friends (although whether that's possible in most boys minds is another disputable topic).

So, anyway. I believe I have basically been the same way about God. Yep, that's right, in addition to being socially challenged, I have been known to be spiritually challenged.

All of us would like signs from God - to tell us how to live our lives, what decision to make when we're at a crossroads - because we want to know the outcome. And we would preferable like these signs from God to be in writing or in the form of a burning bush or echoing, thunder like voice - just to be sure. As if.

But, God does give us hints in life. There are signs all around us (yes - that is a line from Fools Rush In). Ever have that experience? When you feel that one thing after another is happening in your life that is just pointing in the same direction? Like when a preaching you hear, then a passage you read, a circumstance in life, a counsel you receive - all unrelated - seem to be telling you the same thing?

I had that experience when I decided that I needed to stay home with my girls for a while. I heard preachings, radio talk, advice from friends - all separately, and not in a direct way - but the topics, my readings - all led to my feeling the need to stay home. The awesome thing then was that I continued to get confirmation on it in the most subtle of ways, and not that I was looking for confirmation, but when things seemed very uncertain, were just perfectly placed in my life.

Unfortunately, we don't always notice the signs. We are sometimes so distracted by our busy world, our busy lives - even those tasks and responsibilities that are for God (ministries and such - which you can get so caught up in that you forget the one you're doing those ministries for) that we often miss the signs.

Like for me, for example. I knew that I was stretched too thin at one point. But I kept it up - working lots of overtime, holding too many positions at church - running around, doing, doing, doing so much that I was exhausted in every which way - emotionally, spiritually, physically. And like most women do, I just pushed through the exhaustion and kept going and going.

I knew I was heading for a big de-railment, but nevertheless, there were activities to be planned, organized etc. etc. So I buy this book called "Be Still" (awesome book by the way). Which sadly, I read about 20 pages into, before it sat on my dresser collecting dust - why? 'cause I was BUSY!

You know, when God wants your attention, he'll get it. And he doesn't mess around. Into the holidays we went, and the book - well, I'm not sure where it went - but I was busy with holiday dinners, Christmas programs - you know all the usual, when my life came to a screeching halt.

At 25, my life literally stopped. Sciatica.

Now it seems like everyone and their cousin has sciatica these days. But usually not at 25. I was literally unable to walk, stand, sit, without excrutiating pain. Laying down was no treat either. Suddenly work demands, church activities - well just everything, was impossible. It all stopped.

I stopped. And while I was stopped, ironically, know what book suddenly glared at me from my dresser top? Yeah. "Be Still"

Ahhh. I get it God. I get it. You have my attention. Sometimes God just needs us to be still for a little bit - and will get our attention, anyway necessary.

Psalm 46:10: Be still and know that I am God.

No comments:

Post a Comment