Losing control

Here's my theory: [I like to be in control] + [I like organization] + [I like to have a plan] = I like chaos.

Yeah, that's what I've decided. And here is why. When I feel like things are out of control in my life. I must be in total control. Yes, flawed and imperfect me. If I'm in charge of my life, things would naturally have to be out of control.

See, isn't it God who should be control of our lives? When I try to take control, well then surely things are going to go wrong. Why would I want control? Am I nuts?

Yes. I have to be. I don't desire to be the big cheese at work, or at church. I know that being in charge takes great responsibility, lots of time and energy and results in big headaches, problems, and well having no where to look or turn but in the mirror when something goes wrong.

I do not assume to be the most experienced, the smartest, the quickest person for most things in life. So why in the world would I want control of my life (something I happen to value quite a bit)? What reasoning would make me jump to the conclusion that I could be in control of my life? I only see what's before me, not ahead, not over the hill, I can't see the big picture - nope, I don't have a map - yeah I have some idea about where I'm headed, where I want to get to - but no idea about the road that will take me there and the encounters that lie ahead.

But the great news is there is a Great Navigator, who does know the way. Who knows exactly what's happening at every turn of our lives. He even knows what we'll encounter just around the next bend ahead. In fact, he knows our hoped for destination better than any of us. So why in the world do we try to take the reins from Him? So very foolish.

But he is also very good to us. He lets us take control, heading down the highway of life. Yeah, he knows we'll fail. But I can just imagine him smiling to himself, loving us anyway. Just like we do, when our children want to try something new that we parents know they're not ready for. And after a little bit, I can see him heading down that same road until he finds us, exhausted, laying flat on our backs at the side of the road, broken down and discouraged.

He doesn't give us an "I told you so" , he doesn't say "That's what you get." He patiently waits for us to hand control back over to him. He tenderly picks us up, dusts us off, and leads us once again. Content, and safe knowing God is again in control.