Monday, November 01, 2004

Weak and Discouraged

Today I was feeling weak and discouraged. I felt so desperate today and I couldn't truly pinpoint why except that I felt that all the concerns I've been juggling suddenly fell out of rhythm and came crashing down on me. All I could do was open my Bible and hope that His Word would restore me.

The following are the thoughts that flooded my mind and the scriptures that I practically stumbled across. Many of them I've read several times before, but today it seemed as if they were being spoken to me in answer to my despair.

Worry plagues me, like a diseases, eating away at my happiness and joy. I don't like when worry creeps into my mind, it robs me of any peace I may have gained. Worry consumes too much precious time that I could be investing in my children, my marriage, my relationship with God. I know these things, and yet I am so weak when worry attacks. Too often I crumble under it's weight.

Luke 12:25: Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?

With my heart and mind in unrest, I fall apart. Sometimes I'm moody. I become weary, distracted, unfocused. I think, I am so unseasoned. I am so inexperienced. I feel that I should be stronger. Have I not acquired any wisdom? How can I be a good parent, an encouraging partner, a positive minister's wife, when I can't even prevent my own melancholy? How can I be of any use to God when I am so weak and lacking?

2 cor 12:9: My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.

Prayer: Here I am before you Lord. Doubt and fear have shaken me. You know my situation, you know our needs. I know you are in control God. God I know that only in you can I put my trust. But today my spirit is weak and lacking. Fill my cup Lord, give me strength. Pour your spirit over me so that I may feel your blessed re-assurance.

Romans 15:13: May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

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