Sunday, December 04, 2005

No news, not necessarily good

It's been so long since I last posted, and unfortunately I don't have good tidings or wise words to share. It's been a strange couple of weeks, and then there are some things that just haven't changed no matter how much I'd like them to. A recap:

-I encountered a wonderfully mature, Titus 2 woman who I've been able to share with, talk to and whose really taken me under her wing. The odd part? She's Catholic. Now that's really not a characteristic to describe as odd, but considering how I grew up and the biases about Catholics that have surrounded me up until this point, it is very odd. I mean, of all the Titus 2 types out there, how come this one has struck a cord, and inspired such honesty and openness in me that no one else has been able to tap?

-My grandfather passed away. My last living grandparent, but the one I knew the least. The one that was basically banished from our family, and whom I haven't seen since I was very young. It's sad when a grandparent passes, but this was oddly sad in that I barely knew the man and grieve for the fact that I never will.

- Work has been stressful. Can't keep up. Lost an employee. Having trouble finding a new one that's adequately qualified, and things keep piling up. It's starting to intrude on my home time, and I never wanted that. I can't help thinking, when I look at our family picture from last year, that despite our financial troubles, the woman in that picture looked much more relaxed and at peace than the one looking back at me in the mirror today.

-Church - well, if there's nothing good to say, you're not suppose to say anything. And besides, I don't know where to begin. Except, what do you do when the denomination you grew up in, doesn't seem to be fitting anymore? Worse, what if you're husband is a minister in that denomination - not to mention everyone of your own and his family members?

-One bright spot today, in the midst of my melancholy: my little ones had a spat, and as usual I mediated, but today when I asked my older one to ask forgiveness from the little one. My little one immediately dropped the toy in her hand and fully embraced her sister with a big smile.

The lessons to be learned from little babes. If only I could be so quick to forgive, forget and embrace.

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