Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Homesick? Honestly..

Is it really possible that I can be homesick - 12 years after leaving home? It seems a weekend back home to see Dad and the family can do that to me every time. Even now, though when I go back entire buildings, streets and the very atmosphere of the neighborhoods I use to know have changed.

Or could it be that in the face of change, new and unpredictable, scary and exciting, I recoil, uncertain and a little afraid, and long for the familiarity and predictability of the place that I came from?

Then again, it could just be that I've been miles and miles away from a family that is close knit and supportive, for - yeah, I'll say it again - 12 years. My loud, musical, always laughing, have to out-joke you, crazy, beautiful, quirky family. A family I never get to see often enough. Maybe it's mostly spurned this time by the sound of my jolly, strong, uncle's voice telling me, with unexpected sadness in his voice, that he just doesn't get to see us enough.

Maybe it's mostly the fact, that my girlies, don't know them nearly as well as I'd like, and won't have the same wonderful memories I do of a large extended family gathered at every possible event, celebration or loss.

It could be that I'm just overly nostalgic (aka homesick).

Girlie 1 put her face in the water at her swim lesson today! This is something that normally made my heart race. Our number one tub rule has always been - Don't put your face in the water!

But, today - total change! It's huge. Yes, yes - one small step - but after weeks of her dreading having to put her face in the water at swim class, it seems a new pair of goggles made her braver today.

It was a beautiful sight to see. Kind of like when the Grinches heart grows 3 sizes (is it 3?), you could practically see her become braver. It could mostly be that she figured out that if she keeps her mouth closed underwater, she won't come up sputtering and choking. Nonetheless, it merited ice cream cones for all tonight!

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