Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Letting Go

Its over. Done.

Well not quite, but the door has definitely shut behind us as we move on to something new. And that puts a feeling of permenance on the entire situation. Funny, but we did not realize that we were the ones that would first be in transition. Poetic justice or something like it - I haven't decided.

As we let go of the ministry and church we invested 15 years into, we found ourselves reflecting and considering that time in retrospect.

Maybe its too fresh, too new.

Feelings of excitement, sadness, regret - they've all come pouring out. It's all part of the letting go, we know. So many what if's that plagued us for so long. So many if only's that kept us in a place that we knew we needed to walk away from.

Sometimes the best decisions are the hardest to make. Sometimes NOT quitting is quitting.

We'll be okay. We'll be great. But the letting go can be a mucky process. Letting go of frustrations, disappointments, regrets....all those reasons why you knew you had to leave in the first place, they haunt you or is it taunt you?

My humanity and limitations have never been more apparent. Thank God he loves me anyway. Thank God he's not through with me.

Looking forward to the adventures ahead. But meanwhile, I work on letting go.

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