Reconciling a.k.a. working it out

Hello poor neglected little blog. I'm still here. So sorry I've left you all alone so long.

You see, we have this massive here and there dialogue that has consumed us. But you will be so happy to hear, or read, that we can see the light. It is definitely within reach, and it's a beautiful sight.

I've been meaning to tell you all about it. But I was at a loss for words. That's what being here and there does to you. You tend to lose your train of thought in mid-sentence.

But if you want a clue, take a look here, at Francis Chan explaining much better than I ever could, why he's walking away from something good, why he's leaving the comfortable and secure for a foggy future, full of risk, following only the voice of God into the unknown. Funny, I say "only" the voice of God as if that shouldn't be enough.

Sometimes something can be sad, heart-wrenching and difficult to reconcile, and also be equally exciting, promising and just GOOD. You can be absolutely sure of what you should do with doors flung open wide ahead of you, and still mourn for the closed doors behind. You can be fearless, and full of fear.

Chan articulates all of this, and though I wouldn't begin to compare our little world to his, it is completely parallel, and once again the echos of God's call in our ministry is all around us, and comes in the most unexpected places.

We're human. We're imperfect. And at the point where God can do something.

Thank you Lord.

God First

Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.

Do not be wise in your own eyes; Fear the LORD and depart
from evil. It will be health to your flesh, And strength to your bones.

Honor the LORD with your possessions, And with the first fruits of all
your increase; So your barns will be filled with plenty, And your vats will
overflow with new wine.

Proverbs 3:5-10

As we approach the start of a new year, we consider the things we put first in our lives. The scriptures are full of encouragement and the promises God has for our lives when we seek Him and trust Him in all areas of our lives.

Each new year comes with a new hope and anticipation. Our energies are renewed and what seemed hopeless now seems to be possible. As we enter the new year with renewed energy hoping to finally lose that weight, improve our finances, deciding that this year we will spend more time with our families, get ourselves to a church or make a difference in our community - whatever it may be, these promises fuel the inner ember that only need a slight breath of encouragement to ignite into a flame that is contagious and effective.

In the verse above, we are told to acknowledge the Lord in all our ways. In our time, talents and resources we should seek to make God first. As we enter into not only a new year, but a new decade, purposefully decide to surrender the best of all you are and of all you have.

When considering your time, ask yourself where the Lord would have you give your time so that you can have the biggest influence. If it's your talents, prayerfully determine whether the gifts the Lord has given you are being utilized for his honor and glory. And as to your resources, be strategic in your giving. Lay out the resources that God has entrusted to you, plan and budget, then challenge yourself to give a specific amount or level. Make that the first line on your budget and then follow through with that commitment faithfully and joyfully.

When you give of your financial resources, you are becoming a part of Kingdom Building. In the Lord's prayer we read, "thy Kingdom come, they will be done on earth". Kingdom Building here on earth is about spreading the gospel of Jesus to all people. Kingdom Building comes at a cost. It costs money for outreach resources, equipment and facilities to get that work done.

We don't give for personal reward or increase. Not at all. But isn't it comforting that God is telling us that we can trust Him to provide for our needs? Isn't it awesome that he also promises to bless us to overflow when we give him our first and best so that we can bless someone else again? And all of this to only to bring further glory to God, make us more like him and increase the spread of the good news about our God who is good and just and merciful to us, even though we don't deserve it!

God is good, you can trust that when you do what he asks of you, he will take care of you. He knows the plans he has for you and has plans to prosper you and will never hand you any challenge he hasn’t already given you the tools to conquer.

We are on the verge of a new decade. Personally, I want that decade to be marked by putting God first. I challenge you to do the same.

Letting Go

Its over. Done.

Well not quite, but the door has definitely shut behind us as we move on to something new. And that puts a feeling of permenance on the entire situation. Funny, but we did not realize that we were the ones that would first be in transition. Poetic justice or something like it - I haven't decided.

As we let go of the ministry and church we invested 15 years into, we found ourselves reflecting and considering that time in retrospect.

Maybe its too fresh, too new.

Feelings of excitement, sadness, regret - they've all come pouring out. It's all part of the letting go, we know. So many what if's that plagued us for so long. So many if only's that kept us in a place that we knew we needed to walk away from.

Sometimes the best decisions are the hardest to make. Sometimes NOT quitting is quitting.

We'll be okay. We'll be great. But the letting go can be a mucky process. Letting go of frustrations, disappointments, regrets....all those reasons why you knew you had to leave in the first place, they haunt you or is it taunt you?

My humanity and limitations have never been more apparent. Thank God he loves me anyway. Thank God he's not through with me.

Looking forward to the adventures ahead. But meanwhile, I work on letting go.

F's...

So my optimistic, and highly uncharacteristic, posts of late are likely a surprise. Well, if not to you, definitely to me. All of it is because we've been hearing the call....yes, that elusive and mysterious thing that until now was just this black hole, if you will, that we heard amazing preachers and teacher talk about but that was only this vague idea to us.

But God is consistent. He still speaks in a still small voice, that tugs and tugs until it's so overwhelming that not responding, standing up and shouting 'here I am Lord', seems unfathomable.

So here we go. Its inevitable. It's going to happen, despite the uncertainties. 'Cause failure at this point would be not at least giving it a go. And I say that with a smile.

So hubby and I dream and scheme each night after the kiddies are asleep. We come together to share all of the thoughts and sparks that have been accumulating in our heads throughout the day.

Tonight we listened to this. bob.blog: Why You Should Plant a Church... Audio: Good Stuff and WOW. We were literally checking off each point. Talk about affirmation and encouragement. Thanks Bob, it was like we were having coffee :)

7 Keys to Starting a Movement

You have to go check out 7 Keys to Starting a Movement at Ragamuffinsoul.com (warning - if small kids are around, watch it on mute).

I found this highly amusing, but also inspiring!

We are about to embark on a new chapter in our ministry. That is so refreshing to say OUR MINISTRY, because for a long time we were in this spiral of what we should do based on what the people around us wanted (basically good christian syndrome) vs. what God had been molding and fashioning us to do.

God has been preparing us for a shift, and let me tell you it hasn't been without its frustrations and pressures, but we can see the new day - the sun shining on our faces again, and it's beautiful.
But like anything new and unknown... well there is uncertainty, and well who is ever comfortable with that. That's the best thing though, it doesn't matter. We are so EXCITED. It's great.

So pray for us, we're going to get up and dance. Start the music! Musica, musica por favor!

Bread I Am

If you've been following my blog at all you'll realize that we've had a little saga going on in our lives. Stay or go. Stay or go. But AH, finally some light! Hope again!

Well we've certainly felt a need to go. We've been frustrated beyond belief. Wanting, YEARNING, for something more. But being the church raisied, bible believing couple that we are, we felt uncertain that wanting and being exasperated with our current situation was .. you know.. very christian-like. I mean, we've always been taught to bear with a situation, see it through, overcome and all that.

And we were disappointed with ourselves, feeling guilty really, that we just couldn't seem to be satisfied, content with our circumstances.

Every word, every prayer, every counsel suggested that we should move on. Reading through Genesis, really hit home: Leave your country, your people and your father's household and go the land I will show you. I will bless you. I will bless those who bless you. You will be a blessing.

Sometimes we misunderstand God. That's okay, 'cause apparently he's quick to correct you when you're wrong, if you're just willing to listen.

See we thought - let's go to another church. We didn't really get that maybe he's been calling us to something more. We didn't see that unperfect us, unexperienced, so much to learn, but so desperate for a great movement of God, could actually be called out - to something altogether on our own.

Inexperienced. I suppose that's an understatement. But you know the old saying - the more you know, the more you realize you need to learn? That's us, completely.

So I posted before that the bishop was coming. He met with us, we layed it all out on the table. Ms. Self-control here, let the flood gates open. The dam broke. Then we waited - what would he say? Would we get scolded like children? Would he be upset that we couldn't keep it together?

A moment of clarity is what transpired. I mean, the words came out at us, and I couldn't help but thinking I knew exactly what he was going to say as he said it. I knew that the answer had been right before us the whole time. God had been holding up huge signs this whole time, with very clear instructions - but we couldn't accept it.

Is it really time for us to go out on our own? Spread our wings and fly? Us? Really??

It then became so clear. Recently I felt like we had been beat down. Deflated. Then it occured to me. We were dough!! Like clay in the potter's hand, God had been fashioning us from the beginning. God had guided, chosen, our parents for the specific ingredients. As they raised us, all those elements were mixed and kneaded until we became adults. And as we entered ministry, we were like dough rising in the bowl. And this past season in our lives had been a time when God had allowed us to be "punched down". It's as if he said to us, Okay now we're getting somewhere - just when we felt like there was nothing else we could do, God said - Good, now I can use you.

And there's hope again. Knowing that God has a purpose for us and that we're still on the right track is unbelievably wonderful. Yes, there's more preparation. No we're not there yet - and coolest - we won't ever (see Philippians 1:6 in my bio). But God has made us a promise, and we are happy to trust him when he says:

“I know the plans I have for you, ..... to give you a future and a hope” Jeremiah 29:1