Swonderings

Today's Swonderings is from Margaret Mason No One Cares What You Had for Lunch: 100 Ideas for Your Blog

You can live your whole life following the path of least
resistance. No risks, no unknowns, no discomfort. And goodness knows that we all dream of a tombstone that reads, "I was comfortable."

Tell us about the biggest risk you could take in your life
right now. It doesn't have to be cliff-diving dramatic. Perhaps it would be easier to jump out of a plane than to go after your dream job. Or maybe something that seems simple to other people is terrifying to you. What would you risk if you had the nerve?

Ok. This is a bit of deja vu for me (yes been here and done that). But the biggest risk I could take, is to stay home with my kids.

A few months ago I received a promotion and significant raise. Rather than being excited about it, I was actually resentful. It made me feel trapped. Like: "How could I rationalize walking away from this?"

I know the answer. My kids of course!

But I also remember what it was like coming up short when it came to bill paying time, the guilt of not contributing to the household finances and moments of feeling like I couldn't pull it off - yes, the perfect mommy syndrome. I know we're on track for getting a bigger house (our's is tiny), in a better neighborhood, by better schools. But my babies are 3 and 5 now. Where has all the time gone? I definitely can't get it back.

And yet I struggle! Lets see.... stressful job vs. priceless moments with my fast growing girls.

A struggle???

Go figure.

So if you're reading this, pray for me! I need courage to take the leap. If not now, when??